Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
