you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Holy shit dude........stairs
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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