I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
