i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
