you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize