I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
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As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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