I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
A bitchslap is in order.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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