Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she peed on how many people?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
