dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
