I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
