Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
