Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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