In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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