Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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