I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
