If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
we're so committed to being not committed
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
