You're my little dorito
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
