He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
