ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
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It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
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michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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