I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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