According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
