yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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