so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
