The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
