apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
