Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
