I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
