found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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