I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
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When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
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You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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