i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
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They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
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WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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