I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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