hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
