Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
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