its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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