Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
