I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
