3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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