some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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