yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
