I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
