I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
