Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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