Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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