How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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