I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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