I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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