So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
