You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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