everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
