I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
