Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
