Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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