you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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