Midget sex pt 2 tonight
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
