Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize