Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?