Texts From Last Night

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  (812): View more from Indiana

  he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.

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  (812): he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway. http://tfl.nu/rhuh
  Replies (13) Good night (621) Bad night (2119)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.

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  (716): I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad. http://tfl.nu/kobd
  Replies (15) Good night (1580) Bad night (2482)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her

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  (847): i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her http://tfl.nu/2g5w
  Replies (12) Good night (1007) Bad night (4212)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i would one night stand the shit outta him

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  (443): i would one night stand the shit outta him http://tfl.nu/aljg
  Replies (11) Good night (5613) Bad night (862)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.

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  (410): Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE. http://tfl.nu/kxu1
  Replies (7) Good night (3457) Bad night (1787)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now

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  (313): Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now http://tfl.nu/t7qb
  Replies (19) Good night (1122) Bad night (4603)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.

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  (919): I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep. http://tfl.nu/o9nw
  Replies (12) Good night (2432) Bad night (1391)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.

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  (713): I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies. http://tfl.nu/hoog
  Replies (3) Good night (2031) Bad night (554)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?

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  (703): you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat? http://tfl.nu/6p3h
  Replies (8) Good night (864) Bad night (1747)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  What are you doing and how can I add sex in there

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  (708): What are you doing and how can I add sex in there http://tfl.nu/rphe
  Replies (5) Good night (2988) Bad night (589)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea

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  (727): Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea http://tfl.nu/mom5
  Replies (2) Good night (1090) Bad night (605)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him

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  (314): it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him http://tfl.nu/nis3
  Replies (1) Good night (418) Bad night (1058)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Oh my god

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  (336): I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown (336): Oh my god http://tfl.nu/ejg0
  Replies (3) Good night (444) Bad night (802)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy

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  (720): Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy http://tfl.nu/3y1o
  Replies (4) Good night (965) Bad night (227)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.

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  (413): I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance. http://tfl.nu/vfeh
  Replies (3) Good night (341) Bad night (492)

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