Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
