clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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