Dude my mom stole all your condoms
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.