Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.

(1-214): View more from Texas

oh fuck your right

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(214): i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can. (1-214): oh fuck your right http://tfl.nu/6rmf

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(310): View more from California

The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was

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(310): The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was http://tfl.nu/84hp

Replies (3) Good night (2496) Bad night (715)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.

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(865): I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen. http://tfl.nu/w8us

Replies (33) Good night (2317) Bad night (3449)
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(650): View more from California

Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss

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(650): Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss http://tfl.nu/9lml

Replies (40) Good night (5905) Bad night (1630)
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(954): View more from Florida

I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.

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(954): I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay. http://tfl.nu/trm1

Replies (8) Good night (3116) Bad night (1005)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'

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(508): I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.' http://tfl.nu/78ru

Replies (7) Good night (2475) Bad night (1095)
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(626): View more from California

How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.

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(626): How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans. http://tfl.nu/e33l

Replies (12) Good night (2728) Bad night (1184)
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(530): View more from California

I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.

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(530): I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time. http://tfl.nu/t4yt

Replies (16) Good night (2478) Bad night (1049)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.

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(617): Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex. http://tfl.nu/9jjl

Replies (4) Good night (4189) Bad night (1051)
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(817): View more from Texas

Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.

(682): View more from Texas

Oh yum

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(817): Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck. (682): Oh yum http://tfl.nu/ssz6

Replies (3) Good night (1024) Bad night (610)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.

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(403): I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture. http://tfl.nu/2295

Replies (7) Good night (1012) Bad night (457)
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(314): View more from Missouri

We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake

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(314): We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake http://tfl.nu/bbs3

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(314): View more from Missouri

Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.

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(314): Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back. http://tfl.nu/xqdn

Replies (4) Good night (1258) Bad night (454)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.

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(606): Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend. http://tfl.nu/7yx3

Replies (3) Good night (863) Bad night (429)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!

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(780): You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day! http://tfl.nu/bw0f

Replies (5) Good night (410) Bad night (953)

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