Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?