escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
