Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
