that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
