Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize