that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
