he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
